Family

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary the definition of Family is the following:

1: a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head.

2 a: a group of persons of common ancestry . b: a people or group of peoples regarded as deriving from a common stock.

3 a: a group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation

This is just the first three definitions, there are 5 more to follow. I have recently learned that family has a different meaning to everyone and to be honest not one persons definition of Family is the same.

Here is my definition for family:

Family is a group of individuals that have unconditional love, support and feeling of belonging with the other members of the family. A family is uplifting and is happy for you and your successes. Family is a group of people you can count on through thick and thin.

I just feel that people are quick to define family by blood relation and in those cases are likely to take family members for granted. Family might be brought together by blood but that does not define it. It is something that needs to be cherished and loved so that the relationship can grow. Family can not be taken for granted, because there is a common thread that binds you. Without love and respect family relationships will not thrive.

Right now I am focused only on the 2 men and 2 dogs that are in my life. This is my family ... this is my life.

Happy 9 months

Dear Holden,

Today you are 9 months ... 3 months away from your first birthday. You are getting so big so fast. You are getting your 4th little tooth in. You are pushing yourself backward with the best of them. Finger foods have become your friend. Naps are getting shorter. Oh and how can I forget you are now saying Dada (Daddy is so proud!)With all of this I can honestly say my son is a genius.
The funny thing is your cuddly side has been coming out the past couple of weeks. You have been a snuggler. And we have figured out your weakness ... the back scratch. Just like your dad you can not help but fall asleep with a back scratch.
You are so loved. Everyone cannot get enough of you and your cuteness.
XOXOX,
Your Mommy

Something that needs to be done

So in 6 days we will be hitting Holden's 9 month birthday. Can you believe Holden will be 9 months? I sure can't.

Well, after 9 month's I feel like an old pro at this whole mom thing (hahaha - I am learning something new every day!). But since Holden's birth I have had time to reflect on a few things and there are some things that must be done. I need to apologize.

1) First and foremost I need to apologize to my vajay-jay (as Oprah calls it!). After all the videos, books and stories I really didn't know what was going to happen to you. I am so sorry, you did nothing to me. And while I pushed for less then an hour and had minimal stitches you got back at me the following weeks ... you got back at me. I am hoping this strain relationship between us are healed because hopefully there will be another one coming your way in a few years :)

2) Next I need to apologize to my amazing husband, Jeff. All I can say is I am sorry! While I was pregnant I was not the most fun to be with ... hormones raging, carrying around a baby for 9 months. Then there was while I was in the hospital ... and you were my biggest support and coach, there might have been times I pushed you away or called you names. Then there were times in the past 9 months ... with sleepless night, stress and anxiety, I might have called you some inappropriate names again. I am sorry. I hope you too can forgive.

3) I also must apologize to my old body. I took you for granted. I always thought you had a few pounds lose and I would deny you so many yummy foods. You did look amazing. I now have a reminder of what carrying a baby around for 9 months around can do ... and its a little belly. But since then I have realized what your real purpose in life is and it is not to fit into size 2 clothes.

4) Next I need to apologize to every new mom. I am sorry for every baby shower I attended and bought another stuffed animal, clothes, and other useless item. I should have stuck to the registry. I am sorry for any pre-judgment ... it is not easy. I now understand how you try to fit in so much in the hour your baby goes down for a nap ... check your email, do laundry, eat, shower, etc.

5) I apologize to my former life. I did not enjoy my freedom when I had a chance. Now come 7 o'clock Holden goes down and we are stuck to the house. I should have gone out more, been a little more crazy, and enjoyed life after 7 PM.

6) I also need need to say I am sorry to my mom. I now know and can honestly say I understand what you went through. It is not easy to raise a child. I want to say I am sorry, thank you, and I love you!

7) And now I must not forget I must not forget Bella and Gracie. All of a sudden we left one day and came home with this little crying bundle of joy. We were not able to go on our daily walks, you were banished outside for most days, and there might have nights that we forgot to feed you.

While I might have all of these apologizes I will never be sorry about becoming a mother. There is no going back to my old body or old lifestyle but having Holden is worth everything and then some. I would do it over and over. I have shared something so special with Jeff and it has brought us so much closer. There is no way I can look at Jeff and not think of Holden and no way I can look at Holden and not think of Jeff (it helps that they look exactly alike!). I love being a mother. It has fulfilled every dream and then some. It has been the most rewarding experience in my life. The last 9 months has only enhanced the last 2 years Jeff and I have been married. It has been a whirlwind, but I would do it all over again. I am so thankful for our little pickle monkey head.